White Lines

From international rugby star to the edge of oblivion - a fearless memoir of breakdown, reckoning and radical rebirth.

Ryan Caldwell is a former professional rugby player turned natural medicine and breathwork practitioner. Born in Belfast, he played rugby for Ulster, Bath, Exeter and Ireland, earning a reputation as a fierce competitor and free spirit before injury and self-destruction brought everything crashing down.
His story charts a turbulent journey from the heights of international sport to the depths of addiction, prison and recovery. Since rebuilding his life, Ryan has devoted himself to exploring what lies beneath performance and wellbeing: identity, trauma, healing, and what it really means to start again.
He shares his experiences with raw honesty and dark humour, the kind that comes from someone who has been through some incredibly dark times and emerged wiser. Today, Ryan speaks openly about mental health, addiction and transformation, helping others find their way back to themselves.
He lives quietly in Straid, Northern Ireland, with his partner Tara and their two young children, trading the roar of stadiums for the chaos of family life.

Peter Lockhart is a Belfast-based writer, journalist and solicitor whose work drifts between sport, memoir and the messier corners of being human. He writes regularly for The Irish News , Belfast Telegraph and BBC Sport, mostly about rugby, though he's been known to stray into stranger territory when there's a good story to tell.
Alongside his work in human rights law, Peter collaborates on books and long-form projects with a curiosity for what drives people, and what breaks them, both on and off the field. A lifelong Ulster and Ireland rugby fan, he also hosts The Red Hand podcast, dedicated to the joys and heartbreaks of following Ulster rugby, often in equal measure.
Peter's love of storytelling began aged eight with Peter Schmeichel's autobiography. These days he listens to audiobooks while pretending to do housework. He lives in East Belfast with his wife Emma, the first reader of every draft whether she likes it or not, and their two-year-old son, who remains unimpressed by his dad's podcasting career.